skatevideo evaluation metric

ideally, i want to see people i've never heard of skating spots i've never seen doing tricks i wouldn't think to do there, in a line. points are subtracted for overproduction, overfilming, park footage, slow motion, fast slow fast editing, and lame majestic soundtracks, or lame trap soundtracks, or tame punk soundtracks. points are added for vomiting, getting hit by a car and/or other vehicles, true slams (even in park footage), fights, vandalism, music that will still be cool in 5 years, music that will still be cool in ten years, and music that i think is cool. small points are added for actual skating style, and if the video is nothing but the best tricks i've ever seen, it gets another single, solitary point. if it's financed in anyway by a company that isn't a skate company but wants to pillage skateboarding for money, then it looses all points, except for the getting hit by car points. weird bumps a la adult swim can have a point each, unless i dont like them. substance abuse is awarded points according the substance, with shotgunning a tb at the top of the list. any video without black sabbath or outkast loses 50% of previously allotted points. old people complaining is worth some points. naked women are chauvanist cliche that i should be ashamed of and also get a few points. the ultimate cliche is if watching a given video makes you want to go skate. it should be the most important, but i m giving it zero points, because i always want to go and skate, because i live in taipei, and taipei is the best place to ride a skateboard.