Homies gettin bad press/ a lesson in 關係

In an hilarious and only half understood semi-scandal flame war internet battle of some sort, a few friends recently appeared on some chinese news site, allegedly skateboarding in the street.

This entirely false and unsubstantiated claim came to my attention via 400+ (I'm not exaggerating) messages on my phone, buzzing constantly through the past 24 hours. If you want to know exactly how often my phone buzzed, you can do the math.

At first, many of these messages implored me to take up arms and wade into the fcbk war of posts, but I was at yakitori, so I couldn't be bothered. Also, this sort of shit is why I don't use fcbk. I have better things to do, like work, drink, skate, and play video games while I write and listen to flesh juicer. Those aren't good things to do, with exception of skating, but they're better than arguing with strangers on this electric idiot screen. If you've ever disagreed with someone on the internet and kept reading, you are too stupid to be allowed to use your electric idiot screen. I have argued with strangers twice on fcbk, so I fall into the "too stupid" category. Fortunately, I can keep going, since I don't live in China.

Back to WW3,987,345(the next one will be typed with sticks). As best as I can gather, a few skateboarding enthusiasts in Taipei filmed a [trick name redacted] on a deserted street, but in Taipei, streets are never deserted, so a passing taxi honked at them.  Concerned internet people bombarded a fcbk group about skating (this is where I know I'm starting to lose the plot) and it expanded into every person's 關係. What is 關係 you ask? Well, imagine if every person you ever knew never matured beyond middle school and felt compelled to either include or exclude you forever based on what a friend's friend thinks of their friend's friend. 關係 is perhaps the strongest argument that Taiwan is culturally part of China. Forget silly historical claims and overwhelming public opinion. It isn't Asia that's foreign, it's 關係. Correct me if I'm wrong, but Japan and Korea don't have 關係. I'm probably wrong. I don't know, I've never lived there. 

But I do live in Taiwan, and I've never had more than a handful of skate related messages on my phone in a 24 hour period. This has been absurdly silly. If I had nothing else to do, I'd write a thesis on it. I will never belong here.

I know I've betrayed the homies by not jumping into the flames, but I feel like I'm writing that wrong by typing this piece to no one. They won't feel the same, and I hope I haven't ruined the 關係, but maybe I can just play the foreigner card say " I have no fucking idea what the fuck you are talking about or why it was important to you that I participate." I'd rather get into an actual fight that I had nothing to do with.