Because I am a curmudgeon, I agree with you that skateboarding videos are terrible. I fully support your statement that skateboarding happens in real time. I don't like sports much, but I am watching some europeans play soccer, and it is full of replays of events that don't matter, and that is what almost all of skate videos are. Skateboarding is a participatory experience, and watching it in highlight form should be considered as shameful as watching pornography. This isn't to say I don't watch pornography, it's just that it's not something that I would discuss with anyone, at almost any level. There are exceptions, but for the most part, skatevideos are a masturbatory aid for the real activity.
Skateboarding itself is the same way. I don't care how other people do it. I am my own favorite skater, not because I'm good at it, but because I do it the best way I know how, to the best of my ability. If someone else doesn't like the way I do it, it has absolutely no consequence whatsoever. Eitherway, I sure as fuck wouldn't edit it with slow motion. We have a duty to make ourselves island universes.
To return to Mr. Grosso, editing is the problem with skate videos. Skateboarding does not happen in slow motion. I blame Transworld, and Fully Flaired in particular. It is the least authentic skatevideo to the actual experience of skateboarding ever made. It's like airbrushing pornography to the point that it's creepily blank and robotic. Editors in skateboarding tend to jerk off all over themselves and slow down tricks in the middle of the trick. This is why we have such hideous tricks going around. Stop that shit. People should skate how they want, but no one would do tricks that only look good (ok, not good, but barely tolerable) in slow motion if the final product is shown in real time. Lurknyc does it right. Skateboarding happens in real time, preferably in person. Like sex.
The biggest problem of all is the internet telephone. Mediocre skating, and even terrible editing and production used to be fine, because footage wasn't available. The first videos I ever saw were worth watching hundreds of times, because I had never imagined anything like it.
TB run. Should take 3 min or less. I love living in Taipei.
6 minutes. That's what optimism gets me. They were out of TB, and Busch, so I got Cass, because it's on sale. Restockers are sloppy here in the hood. That shit wouldn't fly down in Xinyi.
Dozens of people are outside, smoking, talking, letting their dogs shit and piss all over the sidewalk. A pair of police on scooters (yes, Taiwanese police wear bullet proof vests and ride on 125cc white scooters, with red and blue roller lights on the back) were doing some paperwork at fami.
Anyway, skate videos used to be bullshit, because they weren't in person, and weren't in real time, but now they suck even more because there are so many of them. Each successive video erodes the value of those before it. That being said, a very select few new videos are actually very, very good. I won't list them here, for the similar reasons that I won't mention pornography that I consider actually very, very good. It's embarrassing. And it should be. I'm not saying don't watch it, I'm just saying participating is way more important than watching it.
The best skatefootage is completely unedited. What if golf was edited like skateboarding? Multiple day tournaments over several years, edited down into 35 min collaborations of fast/slow/fast highlight clips. Golf is already unwatchable, granted, but it would be so much more intensely lame. With the unlimited storage potential of ordinateurs, I hope that we can start to show skating in real time, although I certainly hope, never to show it live. It's what makes the berrics so shitty, it's been chopped into clips. And it's just a fucking game of skate. It's already not interesting. Emerica b-sides are the future. I can watch someone try a trick for ages and finally make it, and want to go skate so much more than fast/slow/fast editing of a putt makes me want to go golfing. Just because you have a hammer doesn't mean you have to hit things with it, editors.
Update on Cheap Korean Beers: y'all do it right. I will buy more cheap korean beers.
Update on the Update: cass is so sweet, it's like drinking a beer with waffle house syrup poured into it, but with any maple flavor, which shouldn't be there, and also with a lot of tin can flavour, which also shouldn't be there.
Update, much later: cass is making me feel sick. I have to work in a few hours. Iceland is my favorite nationalism team of all time. More people live in my neighborhood in Taipei than in their their entire country, which is, I'm guessing, bigger than Taiwan. I'm not going to share this until way later, when cass isn't make me feel like puking. If I were a real alcoholic, I wouldn't be about to throw up after a six pack.
The best skatefootage is completely unedited. What if golf was edited like skateboarding? Multiple day tournaments over several years, edited down into 35 min collaborations of fast/slow/fast highlight clips. Golf is already unwatchable, granted, but it would be so much more intensely lame. With the unlimited storage potential of ordinateurs, I hope that we can start to show skating in real time, although I certainly hope, never to show it live. It's what makes the berrics so shitty, it's been chopped into clips. And it's just a fucking game of skate. It's already not interesting. Emerica b-sides are the future. I can watch someone try a trick for ages and finally make it, and want to go skate so much more than fast/slow/fast editing of a putt makes me want to go golfing. Just because you have a hammer doesn't mean you have to hit things with it, editors.
Update on Cheap Korean Beers: y'all do it right. I will buy more cheap korean beers.
Update on the Update: cass is so sweet, it's like drinking a beer with waffle house syrup poured into it, but with any maple flavor, which shouldn't be there, and also with a lot of tin can flavour, which also shouldn't be there.
Update, much later: cass is making me feel sick. I have to work in a few hours. Iceland is my favorite nationalism team of all time. More people live in my neighborhood in Taipei than in their their entire country, which is, I'm guessing, bigger than Taiwan. I'm not going to share this until way later, when cass isn't make me feel like puking. If I were a real alcoholic, I wouldn't be about to throw up after a six pack.
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