Huntsman 0 - 1 NormalG

Stress levels are pretty high today. This is maybe partly cause I live in a house the size of a postage stamp, with an eight legged roommate the size of my face. That is, I used to live with an arachnid roommate. Unable to sleep, stressing about tomorrow's endless avalanche of shit, I went to take a shower and there it was on the tiles. It was only the second time I'd ever seen the bugger. I grabbed the toilet brush, as it was the handiest weapon around, and swung with all my might. My first blow angered the spider, and it sprinted across the floor, trying to outflank me. I swung again and again, raining blows down on its enormous back. Nearly as broad as a horse, the beast reared up and tried to finish me, first to the left, and then to the right. As I retreated, it unsheathed my toothbrush and started using it to parry the swipes from the toilet brush. Our swords clanged again and again, in a dance of death so harrowing only those who've been in a swordfight with a goliath huntsman can actually imagine. It was then that I made a nearly fatal error. I lost my concentration for a split second and down came his monsterous foot - it was bigger than my own. He pinned my foot down and unbalanced me, then jabbed with his weapon. I fell to the ground, and he laughed mercilessly, as is their cruel way. The huntsman thought he had me, but I had one trick up my sleeve. Actually, in my pocket. POCKETSAND ! I flung the sand in his beady evil eyes and he roared in pain. Indiana Jones music started playing and barrel rolled over to my toilet brush and plunged it straight into the huntsman's heart. He starred into my eyes in agonized surprise, as he tottered on the precipice of the building. His legs flailed in the air, trying futilely to balance himself. "NormalG," he cried, "tell my wife I "

I finished him with a heel to the thorax, before he could finished his sentence. I watched him tumble off the side of the building, turning over and over in the air, and he smashed down onto two taxis, crushing them completely. "Looks like the huntsman has become the hunted," I said, and lowered my kicking foot. His body twitched once, and became lifeless.