My favorite review on all of the internet. No skating is involved.

We went south and I left my skateboard in Taipei. I never complain, but this was a mistake, because my beloved roommate left me with her kinfolk (whom I love but would rather spent at least part of the weekend loving while I skated) while she went to a baby party. The most memorable moment was walking the war dog around town so he could piss and shit on things as yokels jumped out of the way, and when we got near home, he savaged a dozy security who had been sleeping hidden behind a pillar on some lawn chairs. I appologized to him as best I could.

The next day, we drove home (driving in taiwan is for morons, because the trains are so cheap and convinient and clean and reliable and safe - on otherwords, everything that driving here is not) and the traffic was horrible, so we wandered towards the west coast.

In everyway, the west coast is the opposite of the east. It's a filthy, raucous crowded catastrophe of milling people and scooters and chaos and cars and flashing binlang stalls and general shittiness and airpollution and factories next to decrepit cement housing. We went to a mudflat, where the tide falls 5 to 7 km away from teh shore, and we got there when it was all the way out. It was a strange thing to see, with millions upon millions of fiddler crabs and mudskippers vying for territory against sexual rivals.

We went to an "approved" oyster restaurant (meaning, the online reviews were generally positive; taiwanese women, at least the one I live with, won't dare to go anywhere with less than 4.3 stars on google maps or whatever she reads) but then she realized that we were missing the sunset, so after making an ordeal of it, as though it had been my idea all along, we went back to the shore to watch the sun sink into the mud. It couldn't, because by then, clouds were blocking it. So we selfied ourselves as the sun sank into the clouds above the mud, and then we went back to the oyster restaurant.

I would trade landing a new flatground trick for the chance ot eat there again. It was a total dive, with oysters laying about in plastic baskets in teh muddy crap all around the place. However, there was no smell whatsoever, which I took to be a good sign in an otherwise dingy and nasty looking restaurant. The tables were low and plastic, and so were the stools. The beers were cold, and the oysters were insanely cheap and delicious. So were the shrimp and clams and other oysters, and then another order of oysters after that. Three lanes of highway traffic roared by the whole time. The whole thing cost about $25 usd. I will be back.

On the drive home (lyzk took the wheel because of the amount of beer I had been required to drink with the oysters) I tried to give them a review, and stumbled on my favorite bit of text of all time. Admitteldy, the ocean line people of taiwan live up to their reputation as being a bit less curteous than the rest of the country, but this place didnt suffer for it much, at least when we were there. Behold another opinion:

(Translated by Google) 2018/4/18 Tonight, this male clerk does not know that he is fierce, small, fiercest and fiercest. The staff is angry at the other side and eats and eats. The boss is not the boss? I want to see the giant bully want to see how big the size, the price, the female clerk will show it to me, then the male clerk came over fierce niece clerk: Why do you take it out? I did not say not take it out?. My OS: The fierce three small guests think about the meal in front of you, you are in the fierce why do I ask the staff to come out with Ah? Since they have come out I am also ashamed to point it 260 oysters, 260 yuan oysters to eat Those who are unhappy are reluctant to listen, and they must listen to the men’s staff for dinner. Then the female employee answered the phone to have a guest to make an appointment, and the male clerk was very fierce and said that they would come to the scene to see, but also to speak several times, the female employees would also tolerate no temper, my friend and I heard Very anxious and embarrassed, the most taboo to eat in front of the guests fierce, not to mention the guests did not make things difficult for you, I took friends to sit in front of your baking table to eat. Before going to the boss for the first time, she was very cordial, and I thought it was quite good to bring friends to eat. As a result, my friend and I had a very embarrassing experience. What happened to the boss was not playing on the boss? Rotten, 600 eat a belly fire. Two stars are for the boss and food.