Rolling into Adulthood

Other people's facebooks show off conspicuous consumption so lzyk wants to upgrade, so we went international househunting. I thought it was a decent spot, three and a half floors, with a balcony on top, and big enough to meet my business needs and also a prime location. she balked at teh lack of western amenities, like a kitchen or bed or hot shower or fridge or 20th century windows or lighting on the 4th floor or total width above 3m or parking or washer or dryer or sink or microwave or hotpad or couch or roof free of debris or shelves or tv or lighting on the fourth floor or stove or not rotting appendages on either end or living with a glass wall with thousands of people walking by and looking in while we ate cheese adn drank wine with the current tenants.

I especially loved that last part. If we move in, I'm going to have a fuck ton of fun with that part. If they don't look at you, you have to make them look. If they do, you have to make them break eye contact again before they walk out of frame, but if they don't, you get a multiplier, because by then, they've twisted their entire backs almost 180 to keep looking at the foreigner in the window.

She isn't going to agree to live there without renovations. I'm pretty sure we are too poor for that house, but goddam, it would have been glorious. Now the sun is rising, and I'm on my third screw driver, after discussing this with lzyk all night. Adulthood is proving to be a strange fish. I'm watching skatevideos and drinking after 0500 while the sun rises but thinking about housing adn tricking clients and making lzyk happy. After all, she's the reason that I don't currently live in a tent, on the literal and metaphorical level.

Edit: I forgot to say that when we came home, a bit after midnight, a balding home boy from our floor was screaming at the security guard downstairs and generally gathering attention. I could pick up through the chaos something about theives and gangsters adn my floor number, and everyone needs to be careful, and they forced teh door open and so on. Then we gotin the elevator, adn homie came with us, still very energized. We chatted with him for a while and I couldn't get much more out of it, so lzyk filled me in when we went inside. Apparently, he is convinced that a secret society of gangsters lives in our building and is out to swindle him out of his appartment. This is unlikely, but possible. Less likely is that they are apparently fucking with him by stealing his dirty socks and calendar, then replacing them later. They've been doing this for years. Also, this bastard who lives across from us is in on it. Also also, they follow him around a lot. I'm not sure what would be worse - living in a building with a secret society that breaks in a steals people's socks, or living beside a paranoid schitzophrenic.