Friday, April 14, 2017

I got abducted by Taiwanese aliens

I came to in a long, weird room. I couldn't move, and the lights were so bright that I couldn't make out my surroundings at first. Squinting, I finally started to be able to make out some details of my surroundings. I couldn't turn my head much, but  I could tell the room I was in was so long that either ends of it were out of sight. The air smelled bizarre and bad, like nothing I have ever smelled before, like a mix of unknown chemistry and unspeakable biological functions. I was dimly aware of probes and tubes stuck into my body, and I felt a rising panic when I realized they were connected to a family robots that seemed to be eating and regurgitating my blood. Vague, unidentifiable sounds teased my ears; sounds that seemed oddly familiar, but that I could never have possibly heard before. I don't know how long I laid there, drifting in and out of consciousness, but it was at least many hours, maybe days.
I don't know how I knew, but I was startled by the realization that there was a presence nearby. It was short and dark, and wore some kind of mask over its lower face, and what appeared to be some kind of fashionably huge glasses. "Do not afraiding," it said, maybe telepathically, "we help you." It fiddled with the robots on either side of me, and disappeared. I don't know if it was the same entity or others, but shapeless shadows visited me from time to time and whispered broken English and sometimes unknown langauges. "You pneumonia, we take home later," I understood once.
After some time, maybe hours, maybe days, a steady stream of entities started to pass by, turning to stare at me without expressoin, like they were looking at an animal in a zoo. It wasn't exactly terrifying, but it was distinctly unnerving.
I felt like I had been gone for weeks, but apparently it was only four days. They charged me $20 USD, and gave me some antibiotics to keep taking. I can't wait to skate again.

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