Tuesday, November 29, 2016
skating with hate
I don't usually have a heart filled with hate but I did today, and that was before someone slashed our motorcycle's seat. I went to yuanshan alone and skated slappies til I wandered home.
Monday, November 28, 2016
Tiara Bong Desk
Calm sesssion at the bridge. It didn't rain, so I feel a little guilty that I spent it there, but it was quality time with friends, for a couple of hours. rmj and I stooped up and saw a crew skating north on the other side of the street, but I'm getting sick and my legs are all jiggly, so we just watched them disappear into the night. The plan was to go to the concrete park at zhongli tomorrow, but I'm guessing I won't make it.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
the wave function collapses in the cross walk
this merits a whole new paragraph. I forgot it and remembered it and thought of it again while listening to *******.
You can only say you know a trick if you can do in the cross walk, cruising. That's the be all, end all. It doesn't matter how many times it's done under the bridge or in any skatepark, if you can't do it across the cross walk, this time, in front of the taxis, you don't know the trick. Purify skateboarding.
You can only say you know a trick if you can do in the cross walk, cruising. That's the be all, end all. It doesn't matter how many times it's done under the bridge or in any skatepark, if you can't do it across the cross walk, this time, in front of the taxis, you don't know the trick. Purify skateboarding.
When can you say you can do a trick?
Two decades ago, I overheard someone ask a famous pro skater "what tricks can you do?" and he said "I don't know yet, for today." The reason it sounds like this ancient skater didn't speak english very is because I'm making up the story and I've lived here for too long. I never met any pros until I came to Tiawan. It rained tonight and I didn't leave the house until 2 am, and that was due to cabin fever. I went to the 24 hour sushi place, but I couldn't find it, adn then I went to the 24 hour night market, but I couldnt find that either, and all they have after 2 am is pork grease on rice (which i did sort of mean to be insulting when i typed it, but then also realized I want ot eat it) so instead I ate 7's microwave food (which used to be a miracle but now makes me hate myself for eating it) and walked around the streets for a few hours. The asphalt got patchy like that one super model's face, as it dried. By 2 am, it was dry enough to skate, but I flipflopped around between 7 and fami clerks, buying beer, chatting about what kind of annoying things are happening in their lives, and never, ever complaining myself.
I sat down in a park nearby the house, which isn't a stoop, but could be referred to as the cat stoop, because it's full of cats that spend their time fighting and fucking. Anyway, when I have insomnia, I walk around Taipei and think about skateboarding. I thought about this: the ability of doing a trick is a wave function. Even if you can do a trick most of the time, it doesn't mean you will do next try. There are two waves: one is the probability you will land a given trick next try, the other is variety of tricks you can land next try, which presumably has some sort of familywise error. Probably not though, I'm not actually sure what that means. Anyway, I made a check list, in case you need to know if you can ethically tell your friend that you know how to do a trick:
You landed it, but not clean No
You landed it once, clean No
You landed it today Probably no, unless it was first try
You landed it three times today Maybe, but only if you're feeling cocky
You can do it 10% of the time No
You can do it 50% of the time Depends how humiliated you can stand being on the next try
You can do it 90% of the time How cocky do you feel?
You can do it 99% of the time If you fuck up the next try, you suck at it and you definitely have no right to say you know this trick
You can do it 99.9% of the time See above
You did it 1000 times in a row I'm not sure this have ever been done. Even if it had been, it still doesn't count if you fuck up the next one. Has anyone e ver done 1000 ******** in a row? It's hard to imagine. that would mean doing one every 15 seconds for 250 minutes, without missing. I can't believe it's possible.
What we are working into (this is not a phrase we say in english) is a sort of quantum state of being able or not being able to do a trick. Before the event, you can both do it and not do it. When you try it, the wave function collapses.
Discussion section: when you get older, you are going to lose tricks. If you actually did 1000 ********s in a row, what is hte time delay after which point can you can no longer say you know how to do ********? Immediatley. Because the past and present and future are the same thing, we always could do, and can do, and did do a ********. But if we never could do a ********, then we always couldn't do it. WHich is the opposite of what I meant to say in all of this, which was, the only trick you can claim to be able to do is the one you land next.
I sat down in a park nearby the house, which isn't a stoop, but could be referred to as the cat stoop, because it's full of cats that spend their time fighting and fucking. Anyway, when I have insomnia, I walk around Taipei and think about skateboarding. I thought about this: the ability of doing a trick is a wave function. Even if you can do a trick most of the time, it doesn't mean you will do next try. There are two waves: one is the probability you will land a given trick next try, the other is variety of tricks you can land next try, which presumably has some sort of familywise error. Probably not though, I'm not actually sure what that means. Anyway, I made a check list, in case you need to know if you can ethically tell your friend that you know how to do a trick:
You landed it, but not clean No
You landed it once, clean No
You landed it today Probably no, unless it was first try
You landed it three times today Maybe, but only if you're feeling cocky
You can do it 10% of the time No
You can do it 50% of the time Depends how humiliated you can stand being on the next try
You can do it 90% of the time How cocky do you feel?
You can do it 99% of the time If you fuck up the next try, you suck at it and you definitely have no right to say you know this trick
You can do it 99.9% of the time See above
You did it 1000 times in a row I'm not sure this have ever been done. Even if it had been, it still doesn't count if you fuck up the next one. Has anyone e ver done 1000 ******** in a row? It's hard to imagine. that would mean doing one every 15 seconds for 250 minutes, without missing. I can't believe it's possible.
What we are working into (this is not a phrase we say in english) is a sort of quantum state of being able or not being able to do a trick. Before the event, you can both do it and not do it. When you try it, the wave function collapses.
Discussion section: when you get older, you are going to lose tricks. If you actually did 1000 ********s in a row, what is hte time delay after which point can you can no longer say you know how to do ********? Immediatley. Because the past and present and future are the same thing, we always could do, and can do, and did do a ********. But if we never could do a ********, then we always couldn't do it. WHich is the opposite of what I meant to say in all of this, which was, the only trick you can claim to be able to do is the one you land next.
Saturday, November 26, 2016
be forwarned, etoh is involved
i spent most of the night drinking tb and talking to friends adn family on the roof. THe sky is very dark and also very orange, where the clouds are. Word to the wise: don't tell your mom that if america registers muslems that you are going to register as a muslim. At laest, if you are me, don't tell my mom that: 1 you will get a very unpleasant response 2 apparently lots of people already htought of this and you wont get any points for original thinking, and apparently it's some kind of talking point. There is a reason I don't live there.
It's not them, it's me
It's rainy season.
Saturday is always kook day at the bridge, so I usually don't go. I used to go the northern bridge instead, but since I live by the bridge bridge, I walked down there this afternoon in the wet. The first thing I noticed was the quartet of women picnicing on a blanket in front of the flatbar in the back. I was already annoyed because lzyk was at an MSF event all day, and for some reason, I really didn't like that. The reason I really didn't like the picnic was that it mean I couldn't do the first trick on the flatbar that I always have to do first now or else it be a bad session. I'm aware that this all sounds vaguely mentally ill.
I was also ready to be annoyed by anyone not skating the wooden pallets I brought. The preparation paid off. A drum class set up in the back, near the flatbar, and while I thought about snarky insults to say to them in english, the tide started to turn. My grinch heart realized that this sort of annoying shit is why skating at the bridge, even on Kook Day, is still good. It's a living, breathing spot, full of kids on wiggle boards and picnic parties and live music and dozens of people standing in front of obstacles and holding their skateboards.
Someone had moved my pallets to the trash pile, so I took them to the back and stacked them in a few variations. THen I made a bank out of them, against the little shitty box. Thiswas the winner. I was the only skating them for hours, which is my last lingering complaint. I am befuddled by people who go to a spot and skate the same terrain and the same tricks, day after day, week after week. This behavior is a lot more like basketball than it is like skateboarding.
However, two homies ended up skating it with me for a while. Then I got over my sulking. In the end, skating the pallets made them fall apart anyway.
Saturday is always kook day at the bridge, so I usually don't go. I used to go the northern bridge instead, but since I live by the bridge bridge, I walked down there this afternoon in the wet. The first thing I noticed was the quartet of women picnicing on a blanket in front of the flatbar in the back. I was already annoyed because lzyk was at an MSF event all day, and for some reason, I really didn't like that. The reason I really didn't like the picnic was that it mean I couldn't do the first trick on the flatbar that I always have to do first now or else it be a bad session. I'm aware that this all sounds vaguely mentally ill.
I was also ready to be annoyed by anyone not skating the wooden pallets I brought. The preparation paid off. A drum class set up in the back, near the flatbar, and while I thought about snarky insults to say to them in english, the tide started to turn. My grinch heart realized that this sort of annoying shit is why skating at the bridge, even on Kook Day, is still good. It's a living, breathing spot, full of kids on wiggle boards and picnic parties and live music and dozens of people standing in front of obstacles and holding their skateboards.
Someone had moved my pallets to the trash pile, so I took them to the back and stacked them in a few variations. THen I made a bank out of them, against the little shitty box. Thiswas the winner. I was the only skating them for hours, which is my last lingering complaint. I am befuddled by people who go to a spot and skate the same terrain and the same tricks, day after day, week after week. This behavior is a lot more like basketball than it is like skateboarding.
However, two homies ended up skating it with me for a while. Then I got over my sulking. In the end, skating the pallets made them fall apart anyway.
Thursday, November 24, 2016
manuals are hard
Proverbially, we should judge men by their friends. I think we can also judge women by how well they spot skateable debris.
I spend the day getting blasted out of the water at sciency meetings by people communicating with me in their second language. I was told, "don't worry, there is a learning curve." Yeeeesss. Everest has a learning curve as well, but it doesnt mean everyone makes it to the top alive. Much less back to the bottom. But the situation isn't hopeless, it's just totally humiliating. I was just saying that I hate that I'm not good at thinking just as much as I hate that I'm not good at skating to lzyk on our walk home (she was at the meeting and didn't seem to struggle with concepts, even though it was in her third language. My ego can't handle this sort of onslaught for long). We had thanks giving beers at a super beer bar in a super terrible town.
Anyway, we got off the bus back in Taipei near 行天宮 and walked home. Just as I was saying something witty and awesome, she pointed out five wooden pallets on the widewalk, and said "can you skateboarding on those?" Yes, yes, you can. We discussed how to bring them to the bridge. Ingeneously, she recommended taping them together wit hthe ducktape we have under the couch. She was impressed that I thought I could move them all they way from 行天宮 on top of my skateboard, since it's a few stations down the road.
I put her to bed and skated back up the sidewalk, through the hookers and empty black mercedes and white bmws that dominate the sidwalks in the prostitution zone. I half expected the pallets to already be gone when I got there, but they werent. I taped them up (goddam, lzyk is smart) and pushed them down the side walk for a long long while, stopping to beer up when appropriate.
arriving at the bridge felt like a triumph, like having run a marathon or having clogged a toilet. I have wanted to contribute something to this spot for three years, and finally, I did. It isn't much. It's just some manual pads, or if you're creative, something else, I guess. I thought I would have no energy left to skate, but I was so afraid that someone would steal the pallets and sell them for scrap before anyone actaully skated them that I staked them up and had a go. It started at about 2 am. it was fun. It kept going. I skated it like a race track, form one end ot hte other. in the back was a hobo sleeping on bench with a blue blancket, and in the front o nthe other end was a hobo with a white(ish) blanket. neither one of them responded the the musci I was making as my wheels thumped onto the pallets. I just couldnt stop, like a maniac. A cop came by eventually, but kept walking and didnt say anything. I kept going and going. my legs cramped up and I got more beer and tried some more manuals. finally, I ate it pretty hard. I did a few more, just to show myself that I wasn't giving up, but my feet hurt so bad that continueing wasn't really a long term option. I skated home, but didnt feel like sleeping, so i kept going north and found a brilliantly beautiful metal grate bank to marble ledge, both sides. I skated it until security decided it wasn't acceptable. The annoyingness of the sound of me hitting that metal bank was 10/10, I cant believe they let me skate it so long. Then I popped a hail mary **** **** in the cross walk and drunkely caught it, in front of a hoard of late night taxis and scooters. someone honked, maybe in anger at seeing me do that. I will never know, because I blasted back home and got two more tbs, but they're in the fridge, because I don't think I can stay awake long enough to drink them.
at least if someone steals those pallets, i have skated them every living shit out of them. I hope everybody else gets a try. Thanks lzyk. you are a good woman.
I spend the day getting blasted out of the water at sciency meetings by people communicating with me in their second language. I was told, "don't worry, there is a learning curve." Yeeeesss. Everest has a learning curve as well, but it doesnt mean everyone makes it to the top alive. Much less back to the bottom. But the situation isn't hopeless, it's just totally humiliating. I was just saying that I hate that I'm not good at thinking just as much as I hate that I'm not good at skating to lzyk on our walk home (she was at the meeting and didn't seem to struggle with concepts, even though it was in her third language. My ego can't handle this sort of onslaught for long). We had thanks giving beers at a super beer bar in a super terrible town.
Anyway, we got off the bus back in Taipei near 行天宮 and walked home. Just as I was saying something witty and awesome, she pointed out five wooden pallets on the widewalk, and said "can you skateboarding on those?" Yes, yes, you can. We discussed how to bring them to the bridge. Ingeneously, she recommended taping them together wit hthe ducktape we have under the couch. She was impressed that I thought I could move them all they way from 行天宮 on top of my skateboard, since it's a few stations down the road.
I put her to bed and skated back up the sidewalk, through the hookers and empty black mercedes and white bmws that dominate the sidwalks in the prostitution zone. I half expected the pallets to already be gone when I got there, but they werent. I taped them up (goddam, lzyk is smart) and pushed them down the side walk for a long long while, stopping to beer up when appropriate.
arriving at the bridge felt like a triumph, like having run a marathon or having clogged a toilet. I have wanted to contribute something to this spot for three years, and finally, I did. It isn't much. It's just some manual pads, or if you're creative, something else, I guess. I thought I would have no energy left to skate, but I was so afraid that someone would steal the pallets and sell them for scrap before anyone actaully skated them that I staked them up and had a go. It started at about 2 am. it was fun. It kept going. I skated it like a race track, form one end ot hte other. in the back was a hobo sleeping on bench with a blue blancket, and in the front o nthe other end was a hobo with a white(ish) blanket. neither one of them responded the the musci I was making as my wheels thumped onto the pallets. I just couldnt stop, like a maniac. A cop came by eventually, but kept walking and didnt say anything. I kept going and going. my legs cramped up and I got more beer and tried some more manuals. finally, I ate it pretty hard. I did a few more, just to show myself that I wasn't giving up, but my feet hurt so bad that continueing wasn't really a long term option. I skated home, but didnt feel like sleeping, so i kept going north and found a brilliantly beautiful metal grate bank to marble ledge, both sides. I skated it until security decided it wasn't acceptable. The annoyingness of the sound of me hitting that metal bank was 10/10, I cant believe they let me skate it so long. Then I popped a hail mary **** **** in the cross walk and drunkely caught it, in front of a hoard of late night taxis and scooters. someone honked, maybe in anger at seeing me do that. I will never know, because I blasted back home and got two more tbs, but they're in the fridge, because I don't think I can stay awake long enough to drink them.
at least if someone steals those pallets, i have skated them every living shit out of them. I hope everybody else gets a try. Thanks lzyk. you are a good woman.
Wednesday, November 23, 2016
Homie's First Skateboard
more rain.
Tchris and I went to the bridge, and it was full of unusual skaters, because the rain has driven us all to the same couple of dry spots around the city. It was his first day skating, after bugging me for a few months about a used complete. I have him my first set of wheels from three years ago (minus one bearing) and my old indys (on the condition taht he either returns them when he quits, or donates them to another new skater if he keeps skating) and a deck donated by the 彰化 crew. This is how I got my own first skateboard, handmedown style, and it is one of the most sacrosanct traditions in all of skating. Buy a complete after you can ollie. Learn to ollie from your friends. Paying someone to teach you is the antithesis of skateboarding.
I didn't really skate much tonight, just sort of rolled around and drank a few tb's but tchris gave it maximum effort. Most of all, I like that some how he isn't afraid of skating pretty damn fast on my loose trucks, and bounced off the ground a few times. I filmed his first "line" because either he is going to look back one day on that as something emotionally engaging, or look back on it as that one night he tried skating. People I know showed up later, but I went home early because my legs were already jello from yesterday, and also I have to wake up on time in the morning because life isn't fair. One dude's foot was bleeding from the griptape because he ollied too much. Respect.
Tchris tried to follow me back to the MRT and caught a loose tile and ate shit. Welcome to the club.
I didn't really skate much tonight, just sort of rolled around and drank a few tb's but tchris gave it maximum effort. Most of all, I like that some how he isn't afraid of skating pretty damn fast on my loose trucks, and bounced off the ground a few times. I filmed his first "line" because either he is going to look back one day on that as something emotionally engaging, or look back on it as that one night he tried skating. People I know showed up later, but I went home early because my legs were already jello from yesterday, and also I have to wake up on time in the morning because life isn't fair. One dude's foot was bleeding from the griptape because he ollied too much. Respect.
Tchris tried to follow me back to the MRT and caught a loose tile and ate shit. Welcome to the club.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
City of endless curbs
It rained. I could exagerate, but it didn't rain hard, there was no flood, it wasn't raining cats and dogs, ni comme un vache qui pisse, but it was a constant steady rain all day. It's still raining. It sounds relaxing, actually. I went to work and went to the bridge. A foreign guest who I had apparently already met but couldn't remember was just leaving (sorry man, there's a reason why I'm not in politics) and a few other unnamed homies. It got more crowded as the day progressed, because there are only so many options for dry spots on a rainy day in taipei. I met a new kid who is just learning to ollie, and tried to explain about how your shoulders drive your feet but I just can't speak enough mandarin to get the point across. Or maybe I did. He skates hard, so I guess I'll find out next time I run into him. I skated hard too. I was too tired by dark, and the lights didn't come on for a while, so I going to give up the ghost and walk home while the rain was light. But I landed some piddly new flatground thing and got excited and then I got another, and another, pretty soon I was back in hard skating mode. It ended up only being about six hours, but when you don't need to wait for toher people and you have the motivation, six hours isn't bad.
at the end, i was trying goofy things on the rail of death, adn I came out in a powerslide that I thought was ok but suddenly I was on my ass and the tip of the rail kissed the back of my head on the way down. this rail has injured a number of people, and not broken toenails like mominey, but compound fractures and so on. It's hard to say why it's so dangerous. It's a 12 foot flat rail, and it's low. It's extraoridniarily slick on its feet, so if your balance is marginally off, then the whole rail shoots out from under you. I put some sticky pads on the bottom last night, but I think someone has already taken them off. Lately, the rail of death has been on its side for use with wally/railjams. It has an extra foot in the middle that sticks out too far. I'm glad I just got a little skull scrape from it.
I walked home in the rain. I noticed some curbs that I hadn't noticed before. Taipei's sidewalks are mostly under eaves, and each eave is the door to some kind of business. Most of them are 1 step and made out of marble or with a metal angle iron on them. The only thing keeping your from cruising curbs forever here is fatigue. And maybe going into 7 for a tb. Which I did.
at the end, i was trying goofy things on the rail of death, adn I came out in a powerslide that I thought was ok but suddenly I was on my ass and the tip of the rail kissed the back of my head on the way down. this rail has injured a number of people, and not broken toenails like mominey, but compound fractures and so on. It's hard to say why it's so dangerous. It's a 12 foot flat rail, and it's low. It's extraoridniarily slick on its feet, so if your balance is marginally off, then the whole rail shoots out from under you. I put some sticky pads on the bottom last night, but I think someone has already taken them off. Lately, the rail of death has been on its side for use with wally/railjams. It has an extra foot in the middle that sticks out too far. I'm glad I just got a little skull scrape from it.
I walked home in the rain. I noticed some curbs that I hadn't noticed before. Taipei's sidewalks are mostly under eaves, and each eave is the door to some kind of business. Most of them are 1 step and made out of marble or with a metal angle iron on them. The only thing keeping your from cruising curbs forever here is fatigue. And maybe going into 7 for a tb. Which I did.
Monday, November 21, 2016
Invaded by fruitballers
It was a damp, if not wet sidewalk evening. I went to the bridge to meet up with some homies but one of them got hurt and had laready left, and another soon got hurt and could only sit on the side and drink the beer i brought him. this is how to judge a soceity; by how it treats its weakest memebers. a couple of other regulars came and so did sfj. it felt a bit post apocalypse, skating there with such a small group, but maybe there is another explanation. for starters, two colonies of dancers have infected the spot, one on each end. at the entrance are a small group, who dance there most nights, and play good music. also, they are curteous and basically add to the atmosphere by virtue of playing music that doesnt suck. in the back is the other group. they block the entire spot, although they are next to an empty basketball court, and play the vilest of culturally appropriated western pop. at least when my culture appropriates something, we choose the good stuff. mominey and i joked about skating into the crowd of 50 gyrators with a leading elbow and knocking them down like bowling pins, but in the end, they were only blocking a manny pad and a rail, and the rest of the bridge was competely empty, so we filmed them jiggling aroudn this way and that and went about our skating. i got what i came for, but he split his big toe open like grape by smashing his skateboard down on it.
the timing was a bit funny, because i was just introducing him to sfj as a chill guy and we turned around becaue he was smashing his board and screaming curses. however, toenail removal merits a little nondirectional violence.
Saturday, November 19, 2016
In the running for the greatest bar on earth
I'm trying to write this with teh same approach that I imagine early black flag took to recording music. If that means that poseurs instantly stop reading and never look at it again, so much the better. it also is a convenient excuse for a lack of talent. even if i had the talent, I couldn't hope to describe how good this bar is. I won't even try right now, even though sleeping might mean that any attempt at description will lose the amgic. If you want to see what you're missing, it's right here: https://www.google.com.tw/maps/@24.0740652,120.5453559,3a,75y,227.01h,83.21t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s98fjURVnYKaqoiyfUpxp4g!2e0!7i13312!8i6656?hl=en
It has to be the best bar in asia. maybe in the world. only yellow bar in africa can compare, thanks peace corps.
Friday, November 18, 2016
毒氣 市
We went south for the weekend. As we got off the train, the passengers alighting on the platform let out a continuous series of dismayed gasps and cute sounds of distress. The instant I got out of the train, it was immediately clear why: the pollution was so bad that within seconds, my eyes were burning. You know it's bad when Taiwanese people are show their surprise, after all, Taiwan's air pollution levels usually hover around the unhealthy to very unhealthy levels, and even when the routine dips into extremely unhealthy levels occur, no one seems to notice. They noticed this time. Visibility is about 1000 m, and cars are driving around with fog lights on. My favorite indicator of poison air in Taipei is when you can see a triangle of lit up pollution under every street light. On a bad night, it can extend a third of the way to the ground. Tonight, it went all the way to the ground. People were standing around on the platform taking photos of the pollution. Within a half an hour of arriving, I am coughing up lung oysters like a three pack a day smoker. This must have been what LA was like before the population decided that they want to have clean air.
Thursday, November 17, 2016
highway to the danger zone
藍天天. I refused to work, because one day, I will die, and when I do, I'm pretty sure I won't want to have spent one more day working. Instead, I woke up and drank some coffee and explored the internet and had some oatmeal and peanut butter (both expensive luxuries here) and eventually got on the MRT and went west. I grabbed too many warm up beers, and this slowed down the start of my sessoin. however, every day that i end up at 三重 on the river ends in euphoria. I got off at the old old hood and crossed the bridge into the promised
land. First, you bomb the bike ramp down onto the park itself, (it's beyond running speed at 1/4 of the ramp,
no human being could possibly be brave enough to bomb the whole thing. right?) then it's a five minute
skate north to a spot directly under the flight path of hte airport (they come over at maybe 500 ft).
the ledges are giant circles, and the lines are endless. However, there are no lights, so by dusk, I was
forced to return to the hood. This is ok, better than ok, because I love 大稻埕 all my heart. I have no idea why the font is changing, other than that I just typed it in mandarin. I didnt get much done at the flight path circles, but the cruise home was one of the best 90 mintes of my life. taipei is an aboslute maelstrom of people, there is no way to overstate the chaos. I havent trieddmt but i am struggling to describe teh skate home in the same way that people struggle to describe dmttrips. In order to sruvive, you have to develop a sort of prescience bordering on the supernatural, cracks and lose tiles and scooters nad bicycles and people and walls and curbs and garbage and chaos are at maximum intensity at rush hour. weaving in and out and over and under and through is maybe the most difficult thing that i can do on a skate board. Every second feels like a minute passing, hundreds of crucial decisions have to made every minute. It is skating on instinct alone, and I was giddy with adrenaline in the way that i image motorcycle racers are: you acheive a sort of transcendental unity with the space around you so that you feel invicible, and without that confidence, it would be entirely impossible to do at all. Your 4velocity has intertwined with the environs until the split second you get creamed by a taxi and spend the last 100 breathes of your life in agonizing pain. I had to work to remind myself of my vulnerability as I careerend through the maelstrom of people, simulteneously believing and not beliveing that I would die. This sounds so overly dramatic that I had to pause and erase it, but then I wrote it again. Only hauling ass on a motorcycle feels like skating through taipei at rush hour, with intent.
I found a bank to curb that is very hard to skate. The cracks between the tiles are 1/4 inch, and most of the tiles are loose. The "curb" is two stairs high, and it's slate. some beautiful brilliant construction worker decided that instead of building a proper stair, they would just slap wet cement on it and make a 45 degree slope up to the slate. It's in the middle of a nightlife sort of area that was just starting to kick off, so I had to wait between tries for the armies of prostitues and japanese businessmen to walk by. I got a trick in short time there, wobbling sketchily out of it through the whores, some of them ducking away and shrieking. Sorry, whores, I really don't mind you being there. I'm glad someone saw me land it.
Maybe before this, or maybe after, I'm not really sure, I clackalacked through some shitty areas and at one moment, looked up to see a young dude sitting in the sidewalk, drinking gaoliang, and he gave me a thumbs up with both arms extended.
In the multiverse, I died a lot of times tonight. In the particular version of it where I am writing this and you are reading it, everytihng turned out fine. In fact, better than fine. The skate from the old hood to the new one is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
land. First, you bomb the bike ramp down onto the park itself, (it's beyond running speed at 1/4 of the ramp,
no human being could possibly be brave enough to bomb the whole thing. right?) then it's a five minute
skate north to a spot directly under the flight path of hte airport (they come over at maybe 500 ft).
the ledges are giant circles, and the lines are endless. However, there are no lights, so by dusk, I was
forced to return to the hood. This is ok, better than ok, because I love 大稻埕 all my heart. I have no idea why the font is changing, other than that I just typed it in mandarin. I didnt get much done at the flight path circles, but the cruise home was one of the best 90 mintes of my life. taipei is an aboslute maelstrom of people, there is no way to overstate the chaos. I havent trieddmt but i am struggling to describe teh skate home in the same way that people struggle to describe dmttrips. In order to sruvive, you have to develop a sort of prescience bordering on the supernatural, cracks and lose tiles and scooters nad bicycles and people and walls and curbs and garbage and chaos are at maximum intensity at rush hour. weaving in and out and over and under and through is maybe the most difficult thing that i can do on a skate board. Every second feels like a minute passing, hundreds of crucial decisions have to made every minute. It is skating on instinct alone, and I was giddy with adrenaline in the way that i image motorcycle racers are: you acheive a sort of transcendental unity with the space around you so that you feel invicible, and without that confidence, it would be entirely impossible to do at all. Your 4velocity has intertwined with the environs until the split second you get creamed by a taxi and spend the last 100 breathes of your life in agonizing pain. I had to work to remind myself of my vulnerability as I careerend through the maelstrom of people, simulteneously believing and not beliveing that I would die. This sounds so overly dramatic that I had to pause and erase it, but then I wrote it again. Only hauling ass on a motorcycle feels like skating through taipei at rush hour, with intent.
I found a bank to curb that is very hard to skate. The cracks between the tiles are 1/4 inch, and most of the tiles are loose. The "curb" is two stairs high, and it's slate. some beautiful brilliant construction worker decided that instead of building a proper stair, they would just slap wet cement on it and make a 45 degree slope up to the slate. It's in the middle of a nightlife sort of area that was just starting to kick off, so I had to wait between tries for the armies of prostitues and japanese businessmen to walk by. I got a trick in short time there, wobbling sketchily out of it through the whores, some of them ducking away and shrieking. Sorry, whores, I really don't mind you being there. I'm glad someone saw me land it.
Maybe before this, or maybe after, I'm not really sure, I clackalacked through some shitty areas and at one moment, looked up to see a young dude sitting in the sidewalk, drinking gaoliang, and he gave me a thumbs up with both arms extended.
In the multiverse, I died a lot of times tonight. In the particular version of it where I am writing this and you are reading it, everytihng turned out fine. In fact, better than fine. The skate from the old hood to the new one is one of the best things that has ever happened to me.
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
tab ask redo
Having finished work, I went by the bridge, but I missed miminey who pussied out after only six hours. rmj showed up, and so did a headache, so I expected the worst. it was a difficult start for the new deck. it's really square adn mellow, which is good for me. the headache went away after a 2.5l bottle of water, but in the interim, i glued the sole flap of my almost totally ruined shoes, so the sesssion became a strictly switch one. it kind of sucked, as a sessoin, even after the head ache faded, but rmj and i went for a cruise and hit some first try marble and metal curbs and ledges, and i ***** into the street in between two taxis waiting to rush into traffic, which was stupid but aslo awesome. we hit up several parks in the cool breezy night, and discussed things that are good and things that are bad and I skated back with him to his hood and then went back towards my own. I had one more tb on the roof where it is windy and gratefully free of poison air. I have off all day tomorrow, and i cant decide wher ei m going to skate. solo street day skating is a rarity for me. I think it's going to have to be a new area.
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Dear Daniel,
Sorry but I'm technologically illiterate and I can't reply to your question. I tried several times. Anyway, another sorry, but I can't help with other folks' schedules. However, Taipei is a very small city, geographically speaking, and I suggest you go out street skating. Even if you don't run into any heros, good things are bound to happen. If you don't want to try it on your own, come by the bridge tomorrow night, we are going on a conquistador mission through the streets. You are welcome to join.
be road task
The wind whipped out the particulate matter and I went skating, but only for a minute because I soon snapped my deck. It was on the fastest and tallest ******** I've ever tried, and I landed it, so the skateboard went out in style. A father and his boy were skating together there, which made me happy, and while his father was trying bs ****** on the box, the boy threw stones at passing cars, which made me even happier. I set up the new deck on my roof in gale force winds. I'm letting it stew tonight while I handle other pressing matters. For example:
I met lzyk at yakitori and I didn't say anything that started a fight. I got ahold of my grandfather on the phone on our walk back, so lzyk went to sleep and I grabbed a few more beers for the talk. Apparently, america is a crazy place right now. He should know, he is 90.
I ghosted by the bridge and many new folks were skating in the dark. This also made me happy. I wandered back and had a beer on a bench, hobo style (admittedly, most of my beers are hobo style) and watched the traffic. I'm not sure what to make of the past.
I met lzyk at yakitori and I didn't say anything that started a fight. I got ahold of my grandfather on the phone on our walk back, so lzyk went to sleep and I grabbed a few more beers for the talk. Apparently, america is a crazy place right now. He should know, he is 90.
I ghosted by the bridge and many new folks were skating in the dark. This also made me happy. I wandered back and had a beer on a bench, hobo style (admittedly, most of my beers are hobo style) and watched the traffic. I'm not sure what to make of the past.
Monday, November 14, 2016
White angel of death cloud
For some reason, this particular pollution looks white. I went up to the roof and I can't make out the mitsukoshi building through the poison air, even on the 16th floor. It's only two stations away. Even the normally twinkling hillside by yuanshan park is almost completely lost in the cloud of death. It's a big change from yilan, where we spent the weekend, in blindingly bright sunshine and air that doesn't reek of spent hydrocarbons. For the first time, I'm getting fed up with Taipei. Fortunately, rain is scheduled for tomorrow, so maybe I won't have the taste of burning trash in my mouth when I go outside.
No Skating
It would have been a perfect night for skating, but PM2.5 is sixteen times the safe limit, so I decided to stay in. The air is choking with scooter exhaust and factory pollution. You can see a fuzzy haze in between the street lights. In about 48 hours, people will start dying from cardiovascular disease. Scooters kill more people than just their riders.
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
second half (taiwanese people know how to receive gifts, pt II)
I went back out to deliver presents and I'm happy I did. tk made me feel like I gave him the best gift of all time, even though it's not. we skated together and chatted under the almost empty bridge, and called it quits about 2330. I had second wind went west, through the old old hood ,and the old hood, and then eventually back down. I "skated" two dozen spots (fatigue and tb kept me from doing much: at the police jaws bank I could only roll up and then back down. nevermind, the consequences were still pretty big there). flashes of memory from the cruise are the sudden realization from the tiles and cracks taht I'm back hwere I learned how to ***** up curbs and skating past a security in the window who looked up in a flash wit hteh sort of terror that a imagine a gazelle has when it's about to be consumed by a lion and a very very old woman dragging a huge sack of trash behind her with a huge conical hat on, to whom I offered some cash but she refused and then got angry when i insisted and i tried to say "i want to help you" in mandarin but she launched into a stream of invectives taht i'm pretty sure ancient old women shouldn't say to me. I honestly dont know how to help her.
I went by the old old hood's manny pad ( a perfectly smooth granite couryard with an even smoother 3m black onyx circle pad) and hit as many steps with metal angles and tiny banks and two stairs and curbs and a few 3 stairs and loose tiles that I avoided at the last second from 24 month old memory, and more natural kickers tahn you can shake a douche at. I went by the viking helmet roof spot, but i didnt climb up there. If any spot can described as gnarly without sounding like I'm from california, then it's this one. I'm not from california, so i actually prefer to calling a terrifuckingfying spot. I wandered back home without real incidence. Some taxis tried to kill me, but that is normal in taipei after midnight and I was too fast for them. I hit up some of the old 7s and famis and so on, because i wanted to talk to the 3rd shift clerks, but they had all changed.
tk told me there's a skateparty in kaoshiung this weekend. i'm going to miss it bc it's lzyk's birthday. but I'm pretty sure I shouldn't mention that ot her.
I went by the old old hood's manny pad ( a perfectly smooth granite couryard with an even smoother 3m black onyx circle pad) and hit as many steps with metal angles and tiny banks and two stairs and curbs and a few 3 stairs and loose tiles that I avoided at the last second from 24 month old memory, and more natural kickers tahn you can shake a douche at. I went by the viking helmet roof spot, but i didnt climb up there. If any spot can described as gnarly without sounding like I'm from california, then it's this one. I'm not from california, so i actually prefer to calling a terrifuckingfying spot. I wandered back home without real incidence. Some taxis tried to kill me, but that is normal in taipei after midnight and I was too fast for them. I hit up some of the old 7s and famis and so on, because i wanted to talk to the 3rd shift clerks, but they had all changed.
tk told me there's a skateparty in kaoshiung this weekend. i'm going to miss it bc it's lzyk's birthday. but I'm pretty sure I shouldn't mention that ot her.
Great Bad Oinks
woke up late (having tried to stay up with lzyk for moral support, and failing) and went ot work. I brought my skateboard in anticipation of wanting to skate afterwards. I did, and I did. I skated too many days in a row but I still got a couple of milestones in. I also hung my backtruck up on start of a rail and although I didn't slam, I still managed to shock my neck a little bit. Tourists came and took photos in front of the graffiti and blocked the spot for a while. It was almost empty, except for a handful of the hardcore, braving the sub20 degree temperatures. I don't know them but tk came up when he got off work, so i have to deliver him a gift, and find out where the rest of the night takes me. probably to a quiet city park to get outside some beers and enjoy the temperatures.
stoking bad era
Seabass returned from 2 months injury and we skated with his compatriot under the bridge. Exhaustion is taking its toll, but at least I'm not lzyk. She didn't sleep for 48 hours because work. At least I got to spend some time at the bridge with homies, even if there wasn't much skating in it. We had mosburger in the park and saw a ill omen: a dog with a sort of extra scrotum hanging down, like a softball in a pink flesh sack. It was clearly excrutiatingly painful for the dog. It was an all together strange day.
Sunday, November 6, 2016
A night of two sessions
The weather is ideal. That is why western crews are in town. It was 26 today, but down in the teens at night. It's sunday, so that means the city is simmering down after 10pm. I went to a new bar by the bridge for aperatifs, with service that sucked, so lzyk got very angry at them, which worked out to my benefit, since all I had to do was talk shit about them the rest of the evening and she was stotally on my side for the first time in months. before that,we went ot hte art show by the bridge and I collected some arts. the western duck restaurant by the bridge was immaculate, in the religious sense. this was one of the all time best meals i have ever had in my life.
i went back home ot pick up tc's skateboard, and (holy fuck i just realized that before that i went to JIMI's and got some new bearings put on. bearings looks like a misspelling, but who knows. anyway, sawty replaced some old bearings with some new ones, since i wasnt man enough to do it at home, and then i tried to put the old bearings in tc's gifted complete, but i wasnt man enough for that either, so now he will have ot learn to skate on 15 bearings. at least he can use my old bindipendant trucks). (also, i realize that calling you sawty is insulting ,and i m sorry, but i m really bad at names and i just cant remember and also i dont even use real names here so extra sorry. sawty you are. ))
the first session was in bantown and it was great. zw was there and a bevy of homies. one of whom was about my age and quit for 10 years and started back about 3 months ago. he is already better than me, but at our age, that's not really the point.
zw had a bang up sessoin. he landed ******(a flat ground trick taht is rarely seen in these parts) not once, but many times. I noticed the ground is a little more crackled than before. the city needs to come fix this marble for us.
afterwards, we discussed some things, and one of them was that the cure for children who wet the bed in taiwan is to be fed a live cockroach. apparently, this changes the qi and you no longer wet the bed. makes sense.
i left around the last time of hte last train. i had to stand there for a while, looking at my weird relfection in the glass, asking myself if i am happy with what i m doing with my life, and i said yes. maybe talking to myself out loud, maybe not. i cant remember, but people were staring at me.
i fogot to get off at the right station for trasnfer, so i went to the bridge station instead. since i was there, i got a couple of tbs and went ot roll around. 12 people were there, including 小t, who greeted me like we have been skating together for 20 years. this is where it gets a little bit emotional for me, because it turned out the dudes there were all my age (old) and somewhat potbellied and he had been skating with them for 20 years. They started skating here when i did, aeons ago, and now they have families and things to do, but they meet up once ever couple of months to do what we do. a couple of them asked me to remember this night, with the sort of desperation that we have when we know that maybe we wont make it to the next session, like soldiers going to war, only the war is the rest of our lives.
the whole second session was in the dark. they worked to teach (or maybe relearn) the tricks as a team. most of them have children. they filmed me acting out, which i begged them not to put online unless it makes me famous that getting fired from work won't matter. I am so lucky that i went by the bridge after lights out. i wish that i knew how to find the people i skated with in 1996. from their behavior, these dudes know how special it is that they still skate together, even if only a few times a year.
scatter my ashes under the bridge.
i went back home ot pick up tc's skateboard, and (holy fuck i just realized that before that i went to JIMI's and got some new bearings put on. bearings looks like a misspelling, but who knows. anyway, sawty replaced some old bearings with some new ones, since i wasnt man enough to do it at home, and then i tried to put the old bearings in tc's gifted complete, but i wasnt man enough for that either, so now he will have ot learn to skate on 15 bearings. at least he can use my old bindipendant trucks). (also, i realize that calling you sawty is insulting ,and i m sorry, but i m really bad at names and i just cant remember and also i dont even use real names here so extra sorry. sawty you are. ))
the first session was in bantown and it was great. zw was there and a bevy of homies. one of whom was about my age and quit for 10 years and started back about 3 months ago. he is already better than me, but at our age, that's not really the point.
zw had a bang up sessoin. he landed ******(a flat ground trick taht is rarely seen in these parts) not once, but many times. I noticed the ground is a little more crackled than before. the city needs to come fix this marble for us.
afterwards, we discussed some things, and one of them was that the cure for children who wet the bed in taiwan is to be fed a live cockroach. apparently, this changes the qi and you no longer wet the bed. makes sense.
i left around the last time of hte last train. i had to stand there for a while, looking at my weird relfection in the glass, asking myself if i am happy with what i m doing with my life, and i said yes. maybe talking to myself out loud, maybe not. i cant remember, but people were staring at me.
i fogot to get off at the right station for trasnfer, so i went to the bridge station instead. since i was there, i got a couple of tbs and went ot roll around. 12 people were there, including 小t, who greeted me like we have been skating together for 20 years. this is where it gets a little bit emotional for me, because it turned out the dudes there were all my age (old) and somewhat potbellied and he had been skating with them for 20 years. They started skating here when i did, aeons ago, and now they have families and things to do, but they meet up once ever couple of months to do what we do. a couple of them asked me to remember this night, with the sort of desperation that we have when we know that maybe we wont make it to the next session, like soldiers going to war, only the war is the rest of our lives.
the whole second session was in the dark. they worked to teach (or maybe relearn) the tricks as a team. most of them have children. they filmed me acting out, which i begged them not to put online unless it makes me famous that getting fired from work won't matter. I am so lucky that i went by the bridge after lights out. i wish that i knew how to find the people i skated with in 1996. from their behavior, these dudes know how special it is that they still skate together, even if only a few times a year.
scatter my ashes under the bridge.
Saturday, November 5, 2016
Eat As Bog Drink
I have found a problem with english, and it is that there isnt much middle ground available between "the coolest guy i know" and "a cool guy I know". One sounds hyperbolic and the other dismissive. Somewhere in between is this guy I know. I only know him from skating, and then not even that much. I like to think that he would agree with the statement, "bury my heart under the bridge," because so far, both of his parties that I've been to have happened under the bridge, and I didn't know aobut either one before hand. One was his batchelor party and the other was his birthday.
This one had had about 150 people. I had already spent 4 or 5 hours skating a curb up in the yuanshan area (I crossed off about a dozen things from my wish list, but I'm only mentioning it to set the tone for how how happy I was later), so I wasn't really into skating much by the time I cruised by the bridge. It wasn't that late though ,so I wanted to have a tb and contemplate what the homies were so intent on accomplishing that htey were still there an hour after lights out.
From across the street I saw that there were many people there chatting like parakeets, and somehow I knew it was mostly in english, even at a huge distance. there is a cadence to the language that is unmistakable. maybe there isnt, but i heard people speaking my mother tongue and made a 'taiwa tf' face, and a youth in fasionable dress saw me do it and shouted "it's ******'s birthday!" indeed it was.
as we say in hog mountain, you can judge a man by his friends. his friends were playing a sort of petanque game with an empty beer can and their shoes, that they called chuck. i joined in and soon was smoking and drinking with more laowai than I have met in the same place in 3 years. normally, i like being the odd one out, but this party soothed an intense yearning to hang out with new foreigners that I didn't realize I had until it was happening. homies kept skating the box as the party went on. I was touched that the chuck players made an inebriated annoucement ot hte non chuck playing crowd that if htey wanted to join in, they had to avoid the skating area, since people were still skating. godbless you, good folk.
a curly haired girl who I hope to meet in the next life talked to me for a bit. i stood around awkwardly without shoes on for a while.
i went home eventually and a tiny centipede with the stinging stride crossed the tiles in front of me and i ate a 7 burrito and drank a tb. it paused inbetween the cracks of the tiles and suddenly was gone. god speed.
This one had had about 150 people. I had already spent 4 or 5 hours skating a curb up in the yuanshan area (I crossed off about a dozen things from my wish list, but I'm only mentioning it to set the tone for how how happy I was later), so I wasn't really into skating much by the time I cruised by the bridge. It wasn't that late though ,so I wanted to have a tb and contemplate what the homies were so intent on accomplishing that htey were still there an hour after lights out.
From across the street I saw that there were many people there chatting like parakeets, and somehow I knew it was mostly in english, even at a huge distance. there is a cadence to the language that is unmistakable. maybe there isnt, but i heard people speaking my mother tongue and made a 'taiwa tf' face, and a youth in fasionable dress saw me do it and shouted "it's ******'s birthday!" indeed it was.
as we say in hog mountain, you can judge a man by his friends. his friends were playing a sort of petanque game with an empty beer can and their shoes, that they called chuck. i joined in and soon was smoking and drinking with more laowai than I have met in the same place in 3 years. normally, i like being the odd one out, but this party soothed an intense yearning to hang out with new foreigners that I didn't realize I had until it was happening. homies kept skating the box as the party went on. I was touched that the chuck players made an inebriated annoucement ot hte non chuck playing crowd that if htey wanted to join in, they had to avoid the skating area, since people were still skating. godbless you, good folk.
a curly haired girl who I hope to meet in the next life talked to me for a bit. i stood around awkwardly without shoes on for a while.
i went home eventually and a tiny centipede with the stinging stride crossed the tiles in front of me and i ate a 7 burrito and drank a tb. it paused inbetween the cracks of the tiles and suddenly was gone. god speed.
Thursday, November 3, 2016
Bad Steak Groin
I reached out to the group on line msg and begged someone to skate tonight so that I could keep working in the afternoon, instead of giving up on working and going to skate at 3pm. That someone was JA. We agreed to meet at the ramp and I got my grown up things finished. However, by the time I got there, it had started drizzling. A longhaired kid was there in a texas baseball jersey, so I asked if he was from texas and he said no. end of conversation. he left. I tried to see how many tricks I could land off the ramp to flat, since I was so afraid of its pig shit slickness that I only dropped in once. The drizzle never really increased, but eventually the little puddles became a sheen. I gave up and went back. 1.5 hours transit for 20 min of wet skating. ja went ot the bridge, and so did i and so did rmj and tc and nukh a host of others. there was no moment when everyone arrived, but after a couple of hours, the spot was full. the dancers were pooping and locking in the back, but right when I was going to complain about them, ja said he liked that they were there, playing music and not being inside staring at a screen, so i didnt complain about them. but i wanted to. they always block the last section of the spot. farbeit for me to kick someone out though. rmj and i went to the 3stair park for a beer and discussion, then i went up on the roof for beer and reading. It was a bland session for me, not that that matters. I had had a goal for neihu, but didnt want ot try it on the second drop in. In all, things went well. There are no complaints.
I went outside for another tb and looked down a drain at just the perfect angle so that I could see the neon yellow stinking fluid inside. My secutrity guard stared me down when I came back in, but maybe because of my hideous innes jacket (fuck it, i always loved them and it was cheap) and nightmarket flower shorts and tanzania shoes. I know this adds nothing, but I can't sleep.
I went outside for another tb and looked down a drain at just the perfect angle so that I could see the neon yellow stinking fluid inside. My secutrity guard stared me down when I came back in, but maybe because of my hideous innes jacket (fuck it, i always loved them and it was cheap) and nightmarket flower shorts and tanzania shoes. I know this adds nothing, but I can't sleep.
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
homesick baseball match
Baseball, and sports in general for the matter, is really not something I've cared about since I found out about skating, but this year's world cup is between the white sox and the redskins, and about the only sports story I'm a sucker for is teams who are really old and haven't won in generations. So I planned to wake up at 8 am and watch the final game of the series, which would not only have been my first baseball game to watch since I came to Taiwan, but also my first baseball game to watch in maybe 20 years.
I woke up at noon and checked to see if it's still on; it is, in extra innings and there's a rain delay.
I think I only care because the cold weather reminds me of home. I even went to the grocery store to gear to make a ham sandwich. I don't miss home from 2016 though. I miss my home from when I used to watch baseball.
I woke up at noon and checked to see if it's still on; it is, in extra innings and there's a rain delay.
I think I only care because the cold weather reminds me of home. I even went to the grocery store to gear to make a ham sandwich. I don't miss home from 2016 though. I miss my home from when I used to watch baseball.
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Abrogated Skin
It's now officially cold. It might even be under 70 degrees f, but I usually exagerate things, so let's say 72 and breezy. It's grey and overcast, so it actually looks like winter. I woke up and skated to work, worked for the morning, and went to the bridge because of drizzle. Afternoon sessions are always odd at the bridge. In the light of day, it looks like skating in a parrallel universe. Everything is recognizable, but it's also noticably different. For starters, the box appears shorter, which is a good thing. The graffiti looks dumpier (most of it is pretty shite, but not all). I was the only one there when I showed up, but some homies arrived in due time. I don't know any of their names, just faces. Writing about this session is not unlike writing about giong to the gym. I got a little sweaty, we skated, they filmed some shit, I went by the alley on the way home. This part is worth elaborating on. Meet up spots need facilities, and although the city removed the portapotties (my first squat toilet experience was in one of them) we still have toilets across the street (or in the corner) and a hilife across the street. For food, there is a 200 m alley with restaurants and stalls on both sides. All of it is good. The best is a cheese chicken stall, but it's famous and always has a 30 min wait. I usually stop by the dingy side alley with no signs just to check if they're sold out, and they almost always are. Today they weren't. I only had to wait 20 min.
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